Writing Became My Revenge

 

REGARDING MY writing process, I take time to develop a story, formulate a unique plot, and design the characters’ personalities thoughtfully. I’m no pantser, but I allow for organic creativity. If inspiration strikes, I’m not so rigid that I won’t alter the course of a character’s preset fate or adjust a storyline. Admittedly, I’m a terrible perfectionist. I spent months rewriting and editing the “finished” manuscript for Vindictive, ensuring my sentences were tight, the storylines made sense, and my timeline flowed seamlessly. The more I revisited my story, the more opportunities I saw to adjust—to make it perfect. It became a rabbit hole of perfectionism I had fallen into. Eventually, this situation worked itself out with the guidance of my very patient husband; he helped me get out of my own way.

Cutting storylines or characters wasn’t easy for me. Recognizing that something is unnecessary, too long or derivative can be difficult for a first-time author because you initially think everything you write is gold. The idea that something you worked hard at should be removed for the overall story to have a tighter plotline can be discouraging. But cuts are necessary to produce the cleanest, best work possible. Before discarding the remains of edited-out text completely, I believe in seeing if I can rework it into the story another way. Or maybe I can use it for another book.

I’m task-focused, organized, and responsible. I’m also a little rebellious, but in a good way, a true bon vivant minus narcissism. As a perfectionist, a personal trait I fully acknowledge, I often fall into the trap of viewing the world’s flaws somewhat harshly. My husband is always trying to get me to see the glass more half full than half empty. I’m working on it. I mean, I write revenge thrillers. A little doom and gloom mixed with a pinch of pessimism can be inspirational. The life of a writer!

The origins of Vindictive and Vindictive Too date back to high school when I was bullied for being “different.” In my case, it was also known as being gay. Writing and storytelling became my scheme of revenge against my tormentors, my therapeutic way of dealing with feeling powerless. I started writing a melodrama about people getting revenge against their antagonists for transgressions against them. Decades later, I rediscovered my unfinished manuscript in a box and decided to complete the story. Having much more life experience, possessing confidence and knowing, accepting and loving myself, I crafted a revenge story far beyond what I could have done in high school. Something that was initially an innovative survival technique became a fun, creative way to explore my love of literature and writing.

One thing I have been very open about is my love of the television series Twin Peaks, a show I first watched as a teenager. This atmospheric, otherwordly “TV show too good for TV” inspired me tremendously toward my endeavour in the thriller/suspense writing genre. David Lynch and Mark Frost created a place filled with mysteries, tragedies, and high drama, populating it with a collection of well-developed characters: quirky, heroic, and malicious. While watching each episode unfold, something resonated within me, sparking my imagination. I felt compelled to create my version of a town where secrets, lies, and tragedy ran free. I didn’t get too far with the book I titled Vindictive; I managed only a 30-plus page manuscript before getting sidetracked by my misanthropic teenage life.

Years later, while rewatching Twin Peaks on DVD, I felt motivated to finish writing my revenge thriller. I looked for the original pages of my story, knowing they were in a box of miscellaneous stuff somewhere in my home. Once I found them, the rest is history. I always knew my novel (now novels) would be titled Vindictive; I had the name before the plot. I don’t know where my fascination with this word comes from. But I love it.

 

 

 

 

One comment

  1. Loved reading about the writing process! Makes a person appreciate the talent and hard work involved in an author’s determination to fulfill a dream! Kudos to you, Ryan! Wishing you success and happiness as an author.

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